


Seeing Red

by black_rose4



Series: Seeing Red [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-03 20:31:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4113991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_rose4/pseuds/black_rose4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>My reasoning why we can't marry Josephine in Trespasser: we're already married to her. At least Reif is.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. May I?

“Lelaina said I was ‘an innocent in love’?” Josephine all but scoffed as she said the words, clearly in disbelief of the words she said.

Reif cocked her head from side to side, pulling a somewhat pained face as she did so, clearly reluctant to repeat Leliana’s words a second time. “More or less, yeah.”

Her pacing stopped for a moment as Josephine turned to face Reif again. “Of all the – ” A rare grunt of frustration passed through her lips, a sound Reif had to admit was an intriguing one, given that she seldom heard such a sound come from Josephine. “I’m _quite_ capable of understanding out association. I’ve never thought your intentions were overly romantic, Inquisitor, I assure you.”

“Wow, and here was me thinking I was being obvious.” Reif chuckled to herself, amazed that her blatant advances had apparently been missed or overlooked.

Josephine gasped and pressed a hand over her mouth, her surprise and shock clearly written on her face. Reif held back a smirk at the look on her face. She had such an expressive face, Reif noted, more so perhaps than her own. “We’ve only just…” She trailed off then began again. “I didn’t wish to presume you harboured any tender feelings for me.” Her pacing had resumed and Reif watched her, somewhat amused, as she wandered around the room. This was perhaps the most animated she had seen Josephine since their time spent gossiping together on her balcony.

“Well I do. Quite a lot of them actually. Amongst other feelings, but the tender ones outweigh those right now.”

Reif stood as Josephine continued speaking. “But we haven’t even known each other a few short months. How can you declare this liking for me after such a brief time together?”

For a moment Josephine’s question baffled her. “How can I – I just _know_ , you know?” She shrugged. “How does anyone know they like someone? I just do. Quite a lot in fact.” Just saying the words made Reif smile, something she only noticed when a similar smile spread across Josephine’s lips.

“I would not object to a…closer relationship between us, my lady.” After a moment’s pause Josephine quickly added, “If that sounds agreeable to you, of course.”

Reif’s smile grew again at her words and she inched closer to her, closing the gap between the two women. “That sounds more than agreeable to me, my lady.” Josephine made no move to retreat, a good sign Reif wagered. Taking a chance she raised a gentle hand to her cheek, drawing her closer. With a few inches of space still between them, Reif hesitated. “May I?” she asked quietly, her usual confidence replaced by apprehension.

It was Josephine who finally closed the gap between them, answering Reif’s question with a kiss. Her hands settled on Reif’s hips, drawing her body close to hers as Reif responded instantly to her lips against hers. Josephine giggled softly against her lips when she felt Reif suddenly stretch up, presumably standing on her tip toes to make this easier on her neck. To her surprise though, the elf was gentle as she kissed her, her touch hesitant and gentle.

She moved away after a few moments, grinning from ear to ear as she looked up at Josephine. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long.”

Josephine chuckled, surprised by Reif’s behaviour. To think, even now she was astonished by how Reif could still surprise her, just when she thought she’d figured out how to read her. It seemed she would have to practice. “Then please, keep doing it.”

She was more confident when she kissed Josephine again, her lips more insistent against hers, though still gentle. Her arms wrapped around her body, holding her against her as Josephine seemed to melt in her arms as they kissed. It seemed, perhaps, that Reif was not the only one who had wanted this for as long as she had after all. 


	2. Talk To Me

The Inquisitor looked frantic when she burst through the door to Josephine’s office that evening. She jumped at the sound of the door opening, a faint smile appearing on her lips when she saw the reason for the noise. “Reif, you startled me.”

“My quarters. Now.” She turned to leave, then quickly added. “Please.”

Josephine stared after her for a moment, utterly confused, before setting down her quill and tidying her desk then following after Reif. She was already heading up the stairs by the time Josephine caught up to her. She called after her, urging her to simply slow down and talk to her. She didn’t notice that Reif had stopped at first, Josephine bumping into her on the top few stairs, and she found her face being claimed by Reif.

Her lips met hers, insistent, hard and demanding. Her hands against Reif’s chest managed to get her to stop kissing her long enough to speak. “What has gotten into you? Talk to me love.”

Reif sighed and took Josephine’s hand in hers, leading her up the final few stairs and through into her quarters. She didn’t turn back to check if Josephine had closed the door behind them or not on the way in, Reif simply headed for her desk and perched on the edge of it, feet pressed against the wood for support.

Josephine stood before her, a few feet between them, but otherwise still directly in front of her. She reached for her hands, but Reif kept them clutched to herself, shoved under her armpits. “Talk to me love,” she repeated, hoping this time she would receive answers in some form.

“I’m terrified Josie. All that shit that went down in The Fade has shaken me and I am fucking scared, okay? I – I don’t want to lose you. I can’t have you leave me like all those others left me. I – I don’t know what I’d do without you vhenan. I love you, okay, and I don’t want you to leave me.”

She realised then that Josephine was staring at her. She said nothing, but her eyes widened and she seemed to hold her breath before realising what she was doing and resuming inhaling and exhaling, each breath deliberate, like she was having to remind herself how to breathe.

Finally the silence became too much for her. Reif all but shouted in desperation. “Please, say something. _Anything_. Even if it’s _go away Reif_ , coz that’d be better than nothing right now.”

“You love me?” Her words were quiet, but there was no hint of comedy in them, only amazement. A brilliant smile spread across her lips when Reif nodded quickly. “Maker, that makes me so happy. I wanted to tell you before, but I didn’t want to scare you.” She inched closer to Reif, the elf’s posture relaxing a little as she spoke. “I love you too, Reif.”

She stared in confusion for a few moments, amazed at the cruel trick her brain was playing on her. “See, I knew it. This is why I didn’t say anything sooner – ”

“ _Reif_ , I said I love you too.”

Her words sunk in that time and Reif stared at Josephine in bewilderment. “Y-you do?” A smile as large as Josephine’s grew when she nodded her confirmation. “You’re really not shitting me? Fuck this is – _fuck_.” She almost leapt off the desk as she pulled Josephine towards her and claimed her mouth with her own. Reif’s legs wrapped around her as they kissed, holding her close as though she’d disappear if she let go. Her arms looped around her torso and Josephine steadied herself by linking her hands behind Reif’s neck and returning her embrace.

They were both breathless when they parted, Reif’s legs still firmly locked around Josephine, keeping her flush against her body.

 

“Please don’t ever leave me Josie. You mean the world to me.”

Josephine’s smile saddened at the panic in her voice. She placed a light kiss on the end of Reif’s nose. “You shall have to tear me away from you, my love.”

Reif beamed at her words. For the first time in a long time, she actually believed it when she said she loved her.


	3. The First Time

“So anyways. There I was, elbow deep in this pretty little ginger lass when –” Reif stopped mid-sentence, much to the disappointment of the Iron Bull. “Vhenan. You alright?”

Josephine stared at Reif for a moment, confused for an array reasons, and watched as she lowered her arm, fist still clenched from visually illustrating her story. “Yes of course. Please, don’t stop telling your story on my account.” She motioned for Reif to continue, but the elf shook her head.

“It can wait for another time. It wasn’t _that_ interesting.” Beside her the Iron Bull groaned and muttered that _it so was_ , but Reif ignored him and smiled at Josephine. “You all done for the day now?”

“Yes,” Josephine all but sighed. “That man would not take no for an answer, but I finally managed to strike a deal with him and get him out of my office and out of my hair.” She raked a hand through her hair, fixing the parts she mussed up with her hand. “But, I am done now and my evening is yours.” She smiled warmly at Reif before flagging down a barmaid and ordering another round, upon her insistence.

* * *

Reif kissed Josephine at the top of the stairs, squeezing her hand before letting go. “You really didn’t have to walk me back Josie. You saw yourself, I had one drink all night. Really, I’m fine.”

Instead of leaving though, Josephine lingered. “I know, I simply – ” She seemed to rethink her train of thought mid-flow. “Reif, I have to ask you something.”

Her face dropped at the direction the conversation seemed to be heading, but Reif nodded for Josephine to come inside so they could carry on their conversation.  

They both headed inside, the two women sitting on the edge of Reif’s bed. It took a while for Josephine to articulate her thoughts, something which slowly drove Reif crazier and crazier. She needed to know what was going through her head, but at the same time she also dreaded what she would say. This was just as bad as the ‘ _we need to talk_ speech’, at least in Reif’s mind, and they rarely ended well. Surely this was no exception.

“Why do you not talk about your sexual history around me? Or sex in any form for that matter? Is – is something wrong between us – or wrong with _me_? Am I – do you not want me like that? Is that it?” Josephine’s calm composure slipped as she spoke, her speech becoming more and more frantic as she continued.

 “I – no, that’s not it at – _by the Dread Wolf_ , are you really worried about _that_?” Reif exhaled a shaky laugh. She took Josephine’s hands in hers. “You are perfect, you hear me, and I love everything about you. I just – I don’t want you to think that I only want you because I wanna fuck you. I mean, I do. Want to be with you, I mean. I just – I mean it when I say I love you too. And – and I wanna keep that special. I don’t want you to think that you’re just another roll in the hay to me, because you’re _really_ not. You are _so_ much more to me Josie.” 

Reif brought Josephine’s hand to her lips, kissing the knuckles one by one. “I love you so much. You hear me? And if I’m what you want then I am _happily_ yours. I just need you to say it for me.”

“Reif,” Josephine linked her fingers through Reif’s, pulling the elf’s hand to her own lips. She held it there a moment, smiling to herself at some thought she hadn’t shared yet with Reif. “You are what I want. Now, as much as I love that you think so highly of me, I would appreciate it if you showed that love to me physically as well.”  

Reif needed no further prompting past that. Their clothing lasted but a few moments, the two of them eager to strip and run their hands over bare flesh, to see one another naked. They took their time to both be amazed at the sight of the other, at their taste, the feel of their bodies pressed together. Reif took every opportunity to show Josephine the extent of her love for her, how perfect she truly though she was, murmuring her adoration against her skin. She was rewarded with soft moans and sweetness on her tongue, hands fisted in her hair and grasping at her for purchase. She ate it all up, each moan and sigh spurring her on.

* * *

 “I had no idea you had quite so much to give,” Josephine managed between breaths. She’d finally regained the power of coherent speech, but she still had to pause after each word or two to catch her breath again.

Reif chuckled breathlessly. “I can give more too ya know. Give me five minutes to catch my breath and I can go for another hour at least, you watch.”

Josephine joined her laughter. “I do not doubt that. However, I’m not sure I could keep up if we went again.”

“In the morning then,” sighed Reif contently.

She rolled to face Josephine, taking in the sight of her. Her hair was a mess and her skin was flushed. She’d never looked more beautiful. “You really are amazing, you know that?” Josephine’s blush darkened and Reif sat up. “I mean it. You’re the most amazing person I know vhenan.”

“Clearly you need to meet more people.”

Reif frowned and shook her head. “Please don’t say that. You’re not – _please_.” She leaned down to kiss her, her taste still on her tongue. “Ar lath ma’vhenan.”

“I love you too vhenan.”


	4. Yes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My reasoning why we can't marry Josephine in Trespasser: we're already married to her. At least Reif is.

She has a bounce in her step when she finally returns from the Exalted Plains. Not that Reif doesn’t usually, but today it seems even more prominent. She practically skips through the Great Hall and into her office, a beaming smile of her face when she lays eyes on her. “Josie!”

Josephine sets her quill down and moves from behind her desk to greet Reif. “My love, you’re back.” She bends to kiss Reif, smiling as she does so. “How was your journey?”

“Uneventful. Which is good I suppose, but boring.” Josephine sits back behind her desk and Reif sits on the edge of it. On a spot which seems to have been cleared just for her own personal use. Josephine’s too used to her sitting here. “So, how much work do you have to finish up before I can drag you off somewhere?”

Josephine looks down at the papers in front of her, weighs them up. “I have a few papers to look over and sign. It shouldn’t take long though, if you leave me to work in peace and don’t shove your hand down my knickers.” Reif’s snort confirms that she has indeed been thinking about it, at least a little. “Tell you what, I’ll meet you upstairs, okay?”

Reif nods and leans over Josephine’s desk to give her a quick peck on the lips before pushing herself off the desk. She lands on the floor with a thud then skips away, shouting for Josephine to _hurry up and finish so I can do what I like with you._

She’s already unpacked by the time Josephine makes it up to their room, though Reif herself is missing. The open doors to the balcony give her away and Josephine smiles to herself as she joins her.

It is a clear night for once, though cold because of it. The moon hangs in the sky behind them, its light cast over the mountains before them and reflecting off their snow. The stars are out, peeking over the mountain tops and dotting the sky with their light.

Reif has her back to her, seemingly caught up looking at the night sky. She’s changed out of her armour and has thankfully put on an over-sized shirt, one of Josephine’s own by the looks of it, which she has clutched tight to her. “Aren’t you cold?”

She turns to smile at Josephine and shakes her head. “No. It’s rather nice actually.”

Josephine joins her side, looking out across the mountains with her. She goes to take her hand, but notices it closed tight in a fist. Josephine nudges her fingers with her own. “What’re you holding onto so tightly?” She laughs as she speaks, but Reif tightens her hold. Josephine’s brow furrows. “Reif? Is everything alright?”

“I’m just a little nervous.”

Josephine starts to ask why, but stops when Reif unballs her fist. In it is a small silver ring with intricate vine-like designs around the band. “We weren’t cleaning up the Exalted Plains these last couple of weeks. Well we did while we were there, but that wasn’t why we went there. We were with the Dalish clan there. You see, it’s tradition to give your intended betrothed one of these rings. But I didn’t have one on me, and the only other place I’d get one if from my clan. So I had to ask elsewhere. I asked them instead.

“They weren’t going to help at first. Something about shemlen and weakening our blood. Then I pointed out that we’re both women and it’s not like we’d be having kids like that anyway.” She chuckles, nerves making the sound uneasy. “Anyway, they agreed to help me make this in the end.”

Reif holds out the ring to Josephine. “And I’d like you to have it. And me. As yours. For as long as you’ll have me.”

Josephine doesn’t say anything for a long moment. Despite her being so sure, Reif can’t help but worry that the next words to leave Josephine’s mouth will be her rejecting her proposal.

But she doesn’t. Her lips turn up into a smile and Josephine begins to laugh softly. Reif takes it as a good sign when she starts to tear up and when those tears finally fall. She’s nodding and mumbling a jumble of _yeses_ and exclamations in a mixture of tongues, most of which Reif is now thankfully with. Josephine lets Reif slide the ring onto her finger before she pulls her into her arms and embraces her.

“Forever, my darling.” Josephine mumbles into Reif’s hair, peppering the top of her head with kisses in between words. “I’ll have you forever. Gladly.” 


	5. Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set at the start of Trespasser (the start isn’t all too spoilery, but it mentions a few little things which come up in the DLC). 
> 
> Reif and Bull are having a chat and Reif makes some poor choices. Also, a wild Ava appears (Reif x Josie's adopted child).

“Uncle Bull!” was the Iron Bull’s only warning as a blur of red ran at him and threw itself at him. He caught it instinctively and grinned down at the child in his arms.

“Ava. Look at you! You’ve grown.” He chuckled and let her wriggle in his arms, seating herself in his comparatively gigantic hand so she could grin up at him. “You almost fill my hand now.” She giggled happily and he mussed her wild hair.

“I’m pretty sure I can still do that.” The Bull’s attention turned to the other wild-haired elf approaching him, thankfully not running like the former. “Hold your hand out so I can try.”

He chuckled. “You tried that before remember. Didn’t end well for either of us.” He set Ava on his shoulders so he could pick up Reif and crush her in a bear hug, only letting go when she started making choking noises and saying she couldn’t breathe. “I didn’t think you’d bring the little terror with you.” Above them Ava giggled and buried herself between his horns, hiding behind her hair.

“We wanted to keep her close while we attended this Council. And I figured we’d be able to leave her with someone while shit’s going down.” She looked up expectantly at the Bull, giving him those damned puppy dog eyes that always worked when she wanted something from him. “And well, I know how you much dote on her. And she  _loves_  her Uncle Bull…”

The Bull sighed. “Reif…”

“Please Bull. You take good care of her and she likes you. And I know you won’t let anything happen to her. I need someone who’ll kill if they have to protect her, and I know Josie just doesn’t have that in her anymore.”

He grimaced at the sudden turn in conversation. “Maybe we shouldn’t be having this discussion around her.”

Reif nodded and the Iron Bull took Ava down from his shoulders. He scanned the area then shouted, “Iovro. Someone to see you.” Ava’s attention turned to the direction he’d shouted and she quickly ran off to greet yet another of her ‘uncles’. Reif and the Iron Bull watched with a smile as Thom picked the girl up and spun her around before setting her on the ground again. Even beneath his beard there was a clear smile on his face as she chatted excitedly at him, as he showed her the toy he’d been whittling before she’d run over.

The Bull nodded once they were sure Ava was well and truly distracted. “Let’s go for a walk.”

Reif climbed up his body until she sat on his shoulders, kicking his chest softly with her heels to prompt him to walk. They said nothing for a moment. Then the Bull cleared his throat. “So…”

“Right, right.” Reif shifted on his shoulders. “I just – I can feel it. Something bad’s gonna happen at this Council and I’d hate for Josie to have to try and raise her alone. I know she has her family, but Josie also has her own life and I’d hate for her to have to either give up that or burden her family while she works.”

“Reif…”

“No, just – keep listening, okay? One way or another I don’t see me coming out of this alive. Either my hand is gonna kill me or something else is.”

She felt the rumble in his chest vibrate through her as he grumbled. “Your hand still acting up?”

“Acting up? Are you serious? I’m pretty sure it’s trying to kill me, slowly and very painfully. Not that Josie knows. Creators forbid she worry about me anymore than she already does.”

“Wait. She doesn’t know?” The Iron Bull stopped walking. Were she not on his shoulders, the Bull would have looked up at her, but his horns would have knocked her off. Instead he set her down on the floor and slowly sat to join her at her height. “Your  _wife_  doesn’t know how much pain you’re in? Reif, you’ve gotta tell her.”

Reif sighed, suddenly looking very tired and very guilty. “I know I do, I just…I’m scared of telling her.”

“How bad is it now?”

“I can feel it in my jaw most days. I can right now in fact. My arm is in constant pain and I can barely shoot straight it shakes so bad.” She averted her eyes. “I…I tried chopping it again, but I just – I couldn’t. As per usual.”

She felt large but gentle fingers on her chin, coaxing her to look at him again. “Reif, you have to tell her. She  _needs_  to know this. I know Josephine has a lot on her plate, but if you don’t tell her then things are gonna just keep getting worse, and not just for you.”

Reif sighed. She was so tired. Tired of the pain. Tired of getting dragged into this shit. Tired of grabbing Josephine into this shit. And now they were dragging their daughter into it too. She didn’t want this. She wanted to be able to get on with her life and leave all of this behind. But it seemed in order to do that she needed to officially end things with the Inquisition and rid herself of the anchor…somehow.

“I’m going to have to tell her, aren’t I?”

The Iron Bull nodded. “Yup.”

“She’s going to freak out, isn’t she?”

“Most likely, yeah.”

“Fuck. Can you watch over Ava for a little longer while I go find her then? I’d better go find Josie and steal her for a little while. Better do this sooner rather than later, I guess.” She stood up and offered a hand to Bull, not that it would make much difference.

He nodded his confirmation. “Sure thing. I said I’d look after her. Just don’t scare too many nobles with your shouting.”

Reif winced and he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Sorry. Bad joke. Apparently I make them a lot.”

“A lot? You mean all the time. Yeah, I heard that Krem Brulee one earlier. You should be ashamed of that bad dad joke.” They chuckled quietly, but quickly trailed off. To say she was nervous would be an understatement. “Wish me luck, yeah?”

“You know where I’ll be if you need me.”

Reif smiled weakly and placed her hand over his, still on her shoulder. “Thanks Bull.”


	6. Alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set at the end of Trespasser. 
> 
> It’s all well and good imagining what happens when your LI finds out, but what if your LI is busy saving your hide and has no time to worry? Sorry Josie.

She’d had to keep her surprise under control when Reif had stormed the Exalted Council and announced that she would disband the Inquisition. As shocked as she was to hear Reif say they would be finished, what shocked her more was Reif’s appearance.

She looked dreadfully worn and pale and it was obvious, to her at least, that Reif was barely standing. She was covered in cuts and bruises from whatever fights she’d been in, likely from the qunari she’d mentioned she’d almost started a war with, thought right now it would not be a huge surprise if someone else had attacked her as well. But that was nothing in comparison to the sight of the pinned up sleeve on her uniform.

Josephine tried to smile as Reif talked, tried not to stare, but Maker’s breath it was difficult when she wanted nothing more than to draw her into her arms and question what in the world had happened to her.

She finally got the chance to when the Council closed, seemingly happy with Reif’s announcement. The former Inquisitor looked like she was about to pass out, so Josephine quickly linked arms with her and guided her out of the room, smile still plastered on her face.

They were greeted by a concerned Vivienne and Cassandra, still in their bloodied armour. “Quickly, upstairs.” Cassandra took her off Josephine and carried Reif upstairs, setting her straight on the bed and quickly undressing her, using one of Reif’s blades to slice through the uniform she wore. Once out of her jacket Josephine could see exactly why Reif had looked so ill. Her arm – or what remained of it – was bandaged, the material bloody and sticking to her jacket in places.

Her voice was a whisper when she spoke. “What happened?”

“It’s finally fucking gone.” Reif chuckled merrily, her breath catching every now and then. She seemed delirious, either from the pain or elfroot, though Josephine had no idea which was more likely. Both, knowing Reif.

Beside her Vivienne began working, stripping away the bandages and looking at the extent of the damage. “As you so delightfully put it my dear, yes, it’s gone. And apparently we couldn’t wait until we returned to the Winter Palace to deal with your dying arm safely and hygienically.”

Cassandra opened her mouth to interject, but Vivienne waved a hand to dismiss her then returned to her work. “Yes yes, I know you only did so on her order darling. And with good reason. Now I would appreciate some silence from everyone right now.” She paused then added, “Apart from Reif, who is likely going to be screaming in pain for a while – I am sorry about that darling. It’s nothing personal.”

Reif laughed again. “Vivienne, in the past day or so I’ve had my arm try and kill me. It’s blown up, been chopped of and generally been a fucking pain in my arse – do whatever the fuck you need to do to end this once and for all.”

Vivienne nodded. “Very well. I need to cauterise this. You may wish to scream.”

Her laughter stopped the instant her fire touched the wound and Josephine watched in agony as Reif writhed on the bed. She bit back a scream for a moment before it all came flooding out. “Hold her still.” Cassandra moved and pinned her down as Vivienne worked, Reif still thrashing beneath her, tears streaming down her face.

Josephine didn’t want to watch this. She didn’t want to watch as her friend caused her wife pain in order to save what was left of her arm. She didn’t want to hear her wife’s tortured screams whilst she looked on helplessly.

Her screams seemed to go on forever. Eventually they quietened and turned into broken sobs which got stuck in the back of her throat. They were just as heart-breaking to hear, Josephine decided. Once her wound was redressed and Reif had fallen asleep, too exhausted to stay awake, Josephine undressed and crawled into bed with Reif. The elf curled into her instinctively, whimpering as she moved. Josephine shushed her and began humming quietly, singing her the elven lullaby they used to sing their daughter to sleep. All the while silent tears ran down her face.

Reif shifted in Josephine’s arms, apparently not asleep, simply resting. “Vhenan… Shh, it’s okay. I’m alive, it’s okay.” She reached up to wipe away the tears from Josephine’s face, but stopped when she realised her hand could no longer do that. Her vision blurred, filled with tears of her own. Her throat was tight when she spoke again. “I’m alive. That’s what matters.”

Maybe if she told herself it enough she would believe it. Maybe…


End file.
